That’s What She Said
The Sofa Situation
Troy was halfway through his morning coffee when his phone buzzed. The maintenance shed smelled like WD-40 and oil based paint, and Gonzalez’s name on the caller ID meant his peaceful Friday was about to get complicated.
“Yeah, sir?”
“Troy, I need you to handle something. Mrs. Patterson in 4B left a couch by the dumpster again. Can you see if you can get it in there?”
Troy sighed, looking out at the big ancient monstrosity that had been sitting there since yesterday. The thing was roughly the size of a small lawnmower trailer and probably weighed as much.
Twenty minutes later, one heroic battle involving all his strength, then three trips back forth from the dumpster to the office for water, and questioning his life choices, Troy finally came to a conclusion and called a his brother to help. They both wrestled the couch into the dumpster.
Troy wiping sweat from his forehead pulls out his phone and began to call Gonzalez.
“Gonzalez here. Hey, you got it in there, that sofa—”
“That’s what she said,” Troy mumbled under his breath, still catching his breath from the ordeal.
“What’d you say? I didn’t hear you.” Gonzales replied.
Troy trying not to burst into laughter.
“Oh, uh… the lady that walks the black and white dog said the same thing—that’s what she said. You know, about the sofa fitting in there.”
There was a pause. “Mrs. Chen said that?”
“Yeah, she was… impressed by the logistics.”
“Oh yeah. Sweet old lady. Well, good work. Next time maybe we can get the tenants to break these things down first.”
Troy hung up and watched Mrs. Chen’s walk past with her dog.
He decided the couch incident would definitely not be making it into his annual performance review.