Make Up Your Mind
Marcus sat back down on the bed, just overwhelmed and exhausted.
Marcus: “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being confused about where I stand with you. So make a choice. Be real with me about what you want, or let me go. But stop playing these games.”
Kiara: “I’m not playing games.”
Marcus: “Then what do you call this? What do you call the last six months of back and forth? What do you call kissing me and then acting like it didn’t happen? What do you call telling me you miss me and then sending me to voicemail every time I call?”
The room went silent and was silence filled with all the things they’d both been too scared to say.
Kiara: “I’m scared”
Marcus: “Scared of what?”
Kiara: “Of messing this up. Of not being good enough. Of you leaving when you realize I’m not what you thought I was.”
Marcus: “So instead of talking to me about it, you push me away first? That doesn’t make sense, Kiara.”
“I know it doesn’t make sense. But what if you decide you don’t want to be here?”
Marcus closed his eyes.
Marcus: “Then that’s my choice to make. But at least it would be honest. At least it would be real. This thing right now? This isn’t real. This is you being too scared to show your feelings, so you are making both the of us miserable instead.”
Kiara: “I don’t want to lose you.”
Marcus: “Well every time you shut me out you’re losing me. losing me anyway. Every time you treat me like an option instead of a priority, you lose a little more of me. And I’m running out of pieces to give.”
The line went quiet except for the sound of her crying.
Kiara: “So what do we do?”
Marcus: “We stop playing games. We stop pretending this is casual when it’s not. We stop acting like we don’t care when we do.” “But mostly, you stop being scared of something good. Because that’s what this could be, Kiara. If you let it.”
Kiara: “And if I can’t? If I’m too messed up to be what you need?”
Marcus: “Then say that then you . You don’t string me along hoping I’ll figure it out. You don’t make me feel crazy for wanting something real with you.”
Kiara: “I want something real with you as well.”
Marcus: “Then act like it. Stop running. Stop disappearing. Stop treating me like I’m temporary.”
Kiara: “Okay”
Marcus: “Okay what?”
Kiara: “Okay, I’ll try. I’ll stop running. I’ll stop being scared of this.”
Marcus wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that this time would be different. But he had heard promises before.
Marcus: “I need you to do more than try, Ki. I need you to choose. Choose me, choose us, choose to be here. All the way here, not just when it’s convenient.”
Kiara: “I chose you,” she said, and “I choose us. Even if it scares me. Even if I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Marcus: “Then we figure it out together. But no more mixed signals. No more hot and cold. No more making me guess where I stand.”
Kiara: “No more”
Marcus sat back down, feeling lighter than he had in months.
Marcus: “Good. Because I was about to block your number and change my locks.”
She laughed through her tears.
Kiara: “You wouldn’t have done that.”
Marcus: “Try me. I was done, Ki. Done with the games, done with the confusion, done with feeling like I wasn’t enough.”
To be continued………
Thanks for reading Wishy-Washy Ain’t It Part 2!
- Read in Wishy-Washy Ain’t It Part 1.
- Or check out [Related Story]“Untouched Territories”