Talk Yourself Right Into It
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As Vince went on an on about being "the perfect one in every way," Vanessa, full of that tequila and five decades of eye-rolling, suddenly blurted out, "What happened last night Mr. Slinky!"
The room fell silent for a split second before erupting into roar of laughter. Champagne sprayed from several guests' mouths and noses, and one unfortunate guest fell off their chair.
Vince froze, like a deer caught in headlights. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, no sound coming out.
Seizing the moment, Vanessa stood up, wobbling slightly. "Well, baby it was small limped over," she added.
Ear muffs on as their children putting their hands over their ears. The teenage granddaughter, however, had everything live with the title: "OMG, Grandma's gone wild!"
Vince, still in shock, microphone slipped from his hands and rolled across the floor, with a piece of paper unraveling to revealtitled "365 Reasons Why I'm Amazing."
As the laughter continued, Vanessa walked over to Vince, patted him on the back "Don't worry, dear. There's still always Viagra for the 50th and maybe our 51st anniversary."
The room exploded in laughter again, Vincent forgot about the wireless headphone in his pocket. His face was covered in shame an embarrassment and he finally had enough and walked outside, "I think I need a smoke break... and maybe a lawyer."
Vanessa cashed in her glorious moment of the night, their oldest son leaned over to his sister and whispered, "Well, I guess we know who the real 'humble one' is now."
The party continued late into the night, with guests repeatedly toasting to "Vanessa's honesty" and "Vince's humility." It was an anniversary celebration they'd never forget – no matter how hard you tried to get it up it was a night you couldn’t forget.