So there's Adam, chilling in this brand-new Garden of Eden, rocking the original birthday suit, surrounded by vegetation so perfect it would make Whole Foods look like a gas station convenience store.
God floats by on a cloud shaped liked a Harley Davidson for the final inspection, basically doing a landlord walkthrough.
"So?" God asks, getting off his Harley with his arms spread wide, "What do you think? Is this Garden of Eden pretty good, or what?"
Adam nods, impressed but trying to play it cool. "It is pretty incredible. The food, the climate, the plants, the animals, it's all perfect." He pauses, shuffling his feet in the soft green grass. "But I am, well, sort of lonely."
"Aha!" God says, I was waiting for you to say that. "Yes, I can fix that for you. I have plans for a creature that I believe you will find to be perfect. She will be the most beautiful of all of my creatures. She will be intelligent, wise, and entertaining to be with. She will dedicate her time, her life to providing for you all of your needs and wants. I will call her 'woman'."
Adam's eyes widen. He's not completely naive. "Wow. That’s sounds like she would be spectacular that I have to wonder:
What's it gonna cost me?"
God raises his eyebrows, looking like a car salesman who just got asked about the fine print. "Ah, well, yes. Since you asked, I'll have to take your right arm, your left leg, an eye, and one of your testicles."
Adam's jaw drops. He turns away, hand on his head, doing some serious mental math. He paces around an apple tree, carefully not to touch the fruit. The animals watch with interest – especially the serpent, who had a pen and paper taking notes for later.
Finally, Adam turns back to God, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
"Hey God. What can I get for both pinkie toes?"
God stares at Adam for a long moment, then bursts out laughing so hard the ground shook.
"Both pinkie toes? Little Pinkie toe?" God wipes a tear. "Well, for Both pinkie toes... you'll get exactly what you pay for, my friend."
And that, my friends, is why relationships have been complicated since day one.