No Pickles Please!
It was the first time that Joseph had ever had a late morning stomach reaction on his way to his first business class. When he ran in the building and located the restroom. He was amazed by the advanced technology that alerted you if the restrooms were full before entering.
Finding the men's was fully occupied, he looked over his shoulder and saw the women’s was empty and quietly tipped toed into the women's restroom.
It was a sophisticated hi-tech toilet.
While sitting on the toilet seat, he noticed a series of buttons on the wall.
Curious, he pushed a button marked WW.
Ten seconds later, a stream of Warm Water shot out along the insides of his thighs and the family jeweles.
Feeling the warm sensation, he built up the strength to pushed the button marked PP on it.
The water jet shut down and, a few seconds later, a small Powder Puff gently began tapping his behind.
Thrilled, by the first two experiences he reaches back and pushed the button labeled ATR.
That was the last thing he remembered until he opened his eyes and looked up into the smiling face of the nurse in a hospital.
"Ohh Shit!" he exclaimed. "What happened?" he asked the nurse.
The nurse scolded him: "You went into the ladies toilet, didn't you? That is not allowed."
Joseph: "Sorry, but I had to go real bad."
Nurse: "And you pressed the ATR button, didn't you?"
Joseph: "Yes ma’am."
Nurse smilingly: "That stands for Automatic Tampon Removal."
Joseph's had a look of confusion on his face. When he tried standing, he didn't have the strength in his legs. He started rubbing his knees and thighs frantically then suddenly froze.
"WHAT THE F……….! WHERE IS MY PICKLE!?" he yelled, patting a tampon over his empty pickle area in panic.
The nurse smiled sympathetically. "Don't worry, sir. The ATR suction is quite powerful. Your pickle, wallet, and keys were all pulled out off you during the... incident. They're in that plastic bag beside your bed."
Joseph sighed with tears rolling down his face and said, “It sucked my pickle off my body and you saying “THE ATR SUCTION IS QUITE POWERFUL, enough for you guys to put my stuff in a sandwich hell y’all should be getting wax jobs done without the wax.
Doctor yes it saves me money form having to go to the high ass spa. But next time, you should just wait for the men's restroom," the nurse added with a wink. "Or at least put your valuables properly and correctly in their safety compartment."