The Shadow Dancing Situation
Three weeks had passed since Keisha laid down the law, and Dorothy had been quiet. Too quiet.
Ralph thought maybe she had finally got the message and moved on. He was wrong.
The new situation started on a Tuesday evening. Ralph pulled into the carport after work, tired and ready to eat and go to sleep. He grabbed his phone, leaned back in his seat, and then he saw it.
Through Dorothy’s white blinds, there was a shadow. A very active shadow.
The silhouette was moving in ways that made Ralph squint and tilt his head like I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now.
Dorothy was doing some kind of dance—hip rolling, arm waving, tweaking, body dipping—and that damn bonnet on her head made her shadow look like a mushroom moving to an imaginary beat.
Ralph: “What in the…”
The shadow dropped low, popped back up, did a spin, and struck a pose. The bonnet never moved. It stayed perfectly in place like it was glued to her head.
Ralph called Keisha immediately.
Ralph: “Baby, you need to come outside shit.”
Keisha: “Why? What happened?”
Ralph: “Just… look out the window at Ms. Dorothy’s house her bedroom window. Don’t make it obvious.”
Keisha started wiping her hands on a dish towel, and went to her living room to look out the window at Ms. Dorothy bedroom window. She looked over at Dorothy’s window and froze. The mushroom head shadow was trying to twerk and get low with it but her knees wasn’t having it. It’s was a horrible sight to see.
Keisha: “Ralph… Is she…”
Ralph: “Yep.”
Keisha: “In that bonnet?”
Ralph: “Yep.”
Keisha: “Oh my God.” (Keisha laughing) “That woman is INSANE!”
The shadow went into another twerk move, it looked stiff and barely moving just like that bonnet that was on her head.
Ralph: “Make it stop,” (covering his eyes). “Every time I close my eyes that shadow will be there it will be.”
It didn’t stop. It got worse.
Every single time Ralph came home, like clockwork, the shadow show would start.
Dorothy had somehow figured out his exact schedule again.
4:47 PM: Ralph pulls up.
4:50 PM: The mushroom shadow starts dancing.
4:59 PM: Ralph questions why does she do that.
But the shadow dancing wasn’t even the worst part.
The worst part was when Dorothy thought nobody else was around.
One Saturday morning, Ralph went out to his truck to grab his work boots. Keisha and the kids were still inside. The neighborhood looked empty.
That’s when Dorothy struck.
She came out of her house in her get it girl outfit—tight jeans (that were fighting for their life), a low-cut top, heels, and of course, a bonnet that matched her shirt.
Dorothy walked like she was checking her mail. But her mailbox was literally fifteen feet from her front door. She had walked past it.
Ralph finally looked at her.
Ralph: “Ms. Dorothy, what are you doing?”
Dorothy: “What do you mean? I’m just being neighborly!”
She struck a pose against her fence, trying to look casual but looking more like she was about to fall over.
Ralph: “Its 9 AM? On a Saturday morning dressed like you going to a club?”
Dorothy: “A lady should always look her best!”
Then, Keisha opened the front door.
Keisha: “Ralph, baby, breakfast is—”
The temperature dropped fifteen degrees.
Dorothy: “Oh. Hey, Keisha,”I was just… getting my mail.”
Keisha: “Your mail that you already got yesterday at 3 PM?”
Dorothy: “I… I thought the mailman might have passed early today girl.”
Ralph: “The mailman doesn’t come until after 1 o’clock on Saturday Dorothy.
Keisha: “Ms. Dorothy, remember our talk?”
Dorothy: “I’m just checking my mail!”
Keisha: “In stilettos? And with a bonnet head?”
Dorothy: “This bonnet is freaking vintage!”
Keisha: “Ms. Dorothy, “Get your mail-that-don’t-exist and take your ass inside. Please.”
Dorothy huffed, strutted back to her house in those heels, and looked back and locked eyes with Keisha before slamming her door.
Dorothy: Bitch
Ralph looked at Keisha.
Ralph: “She’s doing exotic dances in her window every time I come home.”
Keisha: “Excuse me?”
Ralph: “Shadow dances. Through her blinds. With that damn bonnet on her head. It looks like a mushroom constantly moving.”
Keisha stared at Dorothy’s house for a minute.
Keisha: “That’s it. I’m calling my cousin Tasha. She’s a therapist. This woman needs HELP.”
Ralph: “Your cousin. She’s a therapist that goes to a therapist, baby.”
Keisha: “Right, well I’m calling the police. This is harassment!”
To be continued……..