Arthur was always one to plan his mornings meticulously, like a chess player anticipating the move of every piece on the board. That Monday morning was supposed to be no different, until nature rang its call to his intestines, drowning his planned course into unforeseen chaos.
There he was, rushing down the interstate, stomach bubbling, one more pothole could be a catastrophe. With his anxiety threatening to bubble over with each agonizing minute. A bright, glowing sign provided momentary hope, ‘Restroom – Convenience store, Next Exit.’ The white minivan skidded as he took the ramp.
A grizzly-looking shopkeeper shrugged nonchalantly when asked about the restroom, pointing towards a sign, ‘Restroom out of order’. Arthur clutched his buttocks and holding his stomach, cursing under his breath.
The wave of pain almost made him release, but he pushed on, slowly walking out the store he sees his co-worker, Daisy, was walking up the store and sees Arthur Sweating and stumbling coming towards her.
Daisy: Arthur you ok?
All Arthur could muster up to say “bathroom”.
Daisy: What about the bathroom it’s out of order. With them ugly faces you making tells me you have to use the toilet. You got lucky today I stay in the apartment complex next door Building F apartment number 3. Can you hold it until I put this gas in my car?
Arthur: NO!
Daisy: Well take my keys and you can use my bathroom with your ugly self. There’s a shortcut on the right side of the store that leads straight to the building I’m staying in.
Arthur proceeded through the right side of the store to the shortcut saying in his head ‘dang she talk too much’ and the closer he got the more his stomach started bubbling. But somehow he made it to Daisy’s door, barely coherent, babbling about his 'gut emergency'.
Like a survivor washing ashore, Arthur breathed a sigh of relief, after a painful yet satisfactory rendezvous in Daisy's bathroom. Saying “no more Taco Tuesday for me”.
Just as he was preparing to bid his farewell to the torturous moments, he noticed an apocalyptic event had transpired - too much paper he'd stopped up the toilet.
Caught in panic, he tried plunging the toilet several times and that didn’t work. That's when he stuck his head out the bathroom and looked around and spotted - a kitty litter box.
All kinds of twisted combination of desperation came to his mind. He didn’t Daisy to know that he used all the toilet paper and backed up her toilet and stopped it from working. It was one outrageous thing that came to mind. Arthur grabbed the small roll of toilet paper that was left a quickly wrapped his hands with enormous amounts of tissue, discreetly depositing all of his poop that was in the toilet into the kitty litter. As he coming out the bathroom after washing his hands Daisy was entering her apartment and puts her hands over her mouth and nose.
Daisy: Man you ever heard of courtesy flush cause the way you smell I know you feeling better.
Arthur: Yes, thank you. Well, I guess I’ll be going see you at the workplace.
All seemed perfect till he heard Daisy’s surprised question,
Daisy: Hold on Arthur, did you use my kitty litter box?
Arthur: No...why? His nonchalance sounded fake, even to his ears. Daisy wrinkled her nose, pointed to the litter box and revealed the awful truth.
Daisy: Arthur, my cat’s been dead for two years... I still have to remind me of Gotti. But in all seriousness what is that smell coming from Gotti litter box? Don’t tell me you the kitty litter box instead of the toilet. Really Arthur are you trying to play a sick joke or something because it’s not funny.
Arthur: Not at all Daisy I don’t know what that is in your kitty litter box. I don’t smell anything anything coming from it. Is that all I don’t want to be late getting to work.
Daisy: That’s disgusting you need to seek professional help and also you need to exit my establishment thank you. Funky self.
Arthur: What’s the last thing you said I couldn’t hear you?
Daisy: I said you need bath in bleach.
As Arthur leaves horror painted his face. Even as the truth surfaced, the cringe of this most embarrassing moment had consumed him, making it the most memorable, poop-filled day of his life. He would later remember it as the day when nature, and a bit of kitty litter, made a mess of his meticulous routine.