The Return Of Dorothy
It’s been a month and two weeks. That’s how long Dorothy stayed at her son’s house in Atlanta. A peaceful month, and a drama-free weeks where Ralph could sit in his truck without being stalked, watched, or subjected to explicit performances.
It was the good while it lasted.
Ralph pulled into the carport on a Tuesday night around 9:15 PM. He’d worked a double shift and was drained tired. He just wanted to sit in his truck, drink his cold one, and unwind before going inside.
The street was quiet. Dorothy’s house had been dark for weeks. Ralph leaned his seat back, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
Then he heard it.
At first, it was unclear. A creaking sound. Rhythmic. Coming from Dorothy’s house.
Squeak… squeak… squeak…
Ralph opened one eye. “No. No fuc……way.”
Squeak squeak squeak squeak
The squeaking got faster. Then he heard it Dorothy’s voice, way too loud, coming through a cracked window:
Dorothy: “Ohhh baby! YES! Right there!”
Ralph sat up in his seat. “Oh HELL no.”
SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK
Dorothy: “Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”
Ralph looked around the street. It was 9:29 PM on a Tuesday night. People were home. People could HEAR this.
He got out of his truck and yelled toward her house:
Ralph: “MS. DOROTHY! YOU TOO OLD FOR THAT!”
The squeaking stopped immediately.
Silence.
Then, quieter but still audible:
Dorothy: “I’m just… exercising!”
Ralph: “EXERCISING?! AIN’T NO DAMN EXERCISE SOUND LIKE THAT!”
Mr. Fred’s porch light came on across the street. His window opened.
Mr. Fred: “Not again! Dorothy, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!”
The squeaking started again, louder this time, like she was doing it just to get at me.
SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK
Doroth: “Ohhhh yes! Ralphie!”
Ralph soul left his body.
Ralph: “SON-OF-BITCH I KNOW SHE DID NOT JUST SAY MY NAME!”
Keisha burst out of their front door.
Keisha: “I KNOW I did not just hear what I think I heard!”
Ralph: “Baby, go back inside—”
Keisha: “No! Nuh-uh! This old hoe done lost her LAST marble!”
Keisha marched across the street and started banging on Dorothy’s door.
Keisha: “DOROTHY! Bitch!! OPEN UP!”
The squeaking continued. In fact, it got more aggressive.
SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK
“Harder! HARDER!”
Mrs. Chen’s was walking past with her dog and heard the noise coming from Dorothy house.
Ms. Chen: “DOROTHY! There are CHILDREN on this street!”
The Johnsons heard Ms. Chen and came out on their porch. One by one, the neighbors emerged, drawn by the commotion and the obscene sounds coming from Dorothy’s house.
Mrs. Johnson: “Is she…”
Mr. Pratt: “By herself?”
Mr. Fred: “Oh, she’s definitely by herself. “Ain’t nobody in there but her and that bonnet.”
The squeaking reached a peak, then suddenly stopped. They heard footsteps, then Dorothy’s voice through the door:
Dorothy: “Can I help y’all with something?”
Keisha: “Can you help US? Can YOU help US?! I know this woman didn’t just say that Woman, open this damn door right now!”
Dorothy: “I’m in my nightclothes!”
Keisha: “I don’t give a damn if you’re in a SPACESUIT! Open! This! Door!”
Slowly, the door cracked open. Dorothy stood there in a silk nightgown with the matching bonnet. A red satin one.
Dorothy “What seems to be the problem?”
Dorothy asked, like she hadn’t just been fake moaning loud enough for the whole block to hear.
Keisha: “What seems to be the—” (looking at Ralph). “You hear this woman?”
Ralph walked up, exhausted.
Ralph: “Ms. Dorothy, why?”
Dorothy: “Why what baby?”
“You know what! I’m not your baby. The squeaking! The moaning! Saying my NAME!”
Dorothy “I was having a private moment in my private home—”
Mr. Fred: “PRIVATE?!”. “Your window was open! We ALL heard you! The Hendersons probably heard you and they’re three streets over!”
Dorothy: “I have a right to express myself!”
Mrs. Chen: “You can Express yourself QUIETLY! Some of us have to explain to our teenage sons what those sounds were!”
Dorothy: “Tell them it’s the new exercise!”
Mrs. Chen: “NO DAMN EXERCISE SOUNDS LIKE THAT!”
Ralph: “Ms. Dorothy… you were making those noises… to get my attention. While I was sitting in my truck.”
Dorothy: “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I didn’t know you were sitting in your truck.”
Ralph: “You literally said my name!”
Dorothy: “It’s a common name! Could’ve been any Ralph!”
Ralph: “You said Ralphie plus I’m the only Ralph on this street!”
Dorothy: “Coincidence!”
Keisha: “You know what? I’m calling your son.”
Dorothy: “Don’t you dare—”
Keisha: “Too late. It’s ringing.”
“Hello?”
Marcus Junior’s voice came through.
Keisha: “Hi, this is Keisha from across the street. Your mother’s at it again.”
To be continued…..