It was supposed to be the second date with Andrea. A night of comedy, filled with laughter and maybe, a deep, affectionate bonding was in play for me tonight. A comedian at The Laugh Factory was undoubtedly the hottest sensation in town. The price tag? $300, no kidding. Yes, I decided to spend that money on the hopes of an unforgettable night.
Driving my Mercedes through downtown with the bright city lights. Smelling good and looking good for the anticipation of my beautiful date Andrea. Suddenly, my iPhone chirped. It was Andrea. Texting saying she wouldn't be coming tonight. My heart stuttered to a painful rhythm. Maybe the reminder of their The reminder of our previous date haunted me.
Ah! The memories of that first date will be forever in my mind for all eternity. We chose 'Le Patisserie', a trendy spot downtown known for its scrumptious French cuisine. As the wine was poured, so was my incessant jabbering about a boring contract my firm just landed. With every flicker in her almond eyes, I grew more into her.
Just when I was about to tell a hilarious story about my notorious time in law school, my stomach rebelled. Cold sweat broke on my forehead as I awkwardly excused myself the table, in the process of me leaving the table I thought it was gas but that wasn’t the case. Trying to hurry to the restroom. Yet, fate had other plans.
Two steps away from my porcelain refuge, disaster struck. Right in the heart every stall was occupied, my gut turned on me, sealing my doom. Yes, the once suave lawyer ended up with his pants soiled in an embarrassing act of unfortunate bowel movement.
The scene played back in my mind like some reruns from old sitcom as Andrea, on the other side of the call, postponed our second date. The bitter truth was hard to swallow. I couldn’t blame her. That horrifying moment had even followed me home leaving a trailing stench, taking my dignity down in the most spectacular, messy downfall.
Turning my car around, I realised that tonight wasn't about sharing laughs at a comedy show, but the thought of my romantic aspirations and three hundred dollars gone down the drain. Some stomach medicine, my couch and the idiot box for company won't be such a terrible way to nurse the hurt of a stained past.
Unsure about a date? Or do you fear bathroom emergencies ruining it? Remember to go to the bathroom before going on a dinner dates. Not only will you have that problem again plus your date won’t be embarrassed from your loose bowels, and also your digestive system will thank you too!